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Teddy
bears let their fur grow long in the image of Ras Tabeari,
who was ½ teddy bear and ½ lion. Ras Tabeari is believed
by teddy bears, to be the living god and lord protector
of the teddy bear race. In his fights with the evil teddy
eating dinosaur, "Tedisaurus", Ras Tabeari had his beautiful
mane of fur matted and it came to symbolise his brevity
and so became the symbol of the Rastabearians.
The
true Rastabearian eats only natural food, so unlike most
teddy bears, Rastabears (as they are more casually known)
do not eat jelly babies. Rastabears do not season their
food, for it is said to taketh the power of the Rastabearian
as it is not pure but a pretence. Rastabearians are forbidden
from eating real bears and tend not to eat much meat anyway.
Their diet is vegetables and raw fish, which must be no
longer than 12 inches as when Ras Tabeari ate a fish of
just over this size it nearly chocked him. Drinks drunk
by the rastabear must only be herbearal (this means herbs
that are suitable for the sensitive teddy bear immune
system).
Rastabearianism
bears close relation to the humans "Rastafarianism" and
teddy bears working to improve links between teddy bears
and humans have set up a project to aid the strengthening
of these links. For
each human religion there is a teddy bear equivalent,
but for its principles of purity, Rastabearianism is the
force on the frontline of this quest.
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