Rastabearianism

 

Teddy bears let their fur grow long in the image of Ras Tabeari, who was ½ teddy bear and ½ lion. Ras Tabeari is believed by teddy bears, to be the living god and lord protector of the teddy bear race. In his fights with the evil teddy eating dinosaur, "Tedisaurus", Ras Tabeari had his beautiful mane of fur matted and it came to symbolise his brevity and so became the symbol of the Rastabearians.

The true Rastabearian eats only natural food, so unlike most teddy bears, Rastabears (as they are more casually known) do not eat jelly babies. Rastabears do not season their food, for it is said to taketh the power of the Rastabearian as it is not pure but a pretence. Rastabearians are forbidden from eating real bears and tend not to eat much meat anyway. Their diet is vegetables and raw fish, which must be no longer than 12 inches as when Ras Tabeari ate a fish of just over this size it nearly chocked him. Drinks drunk by the rastabear must only be herbearal (this means herbs that are suitable for the sensitive teddy bear immune system).

Rastabearianism bears close relation to the humans "Rastafarianism" and teddy bears working to improve links between teddy bears and humans have set up a project to aid the strengthening of these links. For each human religion there is a teddy bear equivalent, but for its principles of purity, Rastabearianism is the force on the frontline of this quest.

 

 


 

   

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