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Welcome
to my teddy bear problem page. If you have a problem that
you want to talk about you can email it to me. I will try
to answer it for you. I can also put it to the readers to
email their advice. You do not need to give your name. Speaking
up about your problems is good for you.
A
problem shared is a problem halved as the humans say.
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Either randomly click a problem
headline hyperlink from the problem index to be taken to it,
or read problems one by one by scrolling down page.
Problem
Index
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Problem 29
Dear Uncle Bearsac, I have
a problem where I freak out when I lose any one of my teddies.
If any one goes missing then I search for hours until I find
it, usually just before bedtime, which isn't healthy. I can't
do it the day after because I don't feel as secure knowing
it's not there.
A few years ago I gave away
one of my teddies I had since I was born and have been upset
about it since. That's most likely why I'm so upset about
it all, but I need some advice on how to cope and deal with
it. It's like I'm being ungrateful towards my teddy. Many
thanks if you can help.
Bearsac's reply to problem
29
It is a sad thing for humans
to lose their teddies and for the teddies to lose etheir owners.
Loss is part of life though and we have to move on after a
time of greaving.
The loss of this treaured
bear might well have left a lasting indent on your soul but
I am sure that your old teddy is in safe loving hands and
has fond memories of you. Us teddies don't feel that our humans
are ungrateful when they give us away in love. We realise
that it is part of being human and that if given away rather
than thrown away it is from a loving heart and for the assumed
best interests of our welfare.
Could you maybe get back the
teddy you gave away if the person you gave it to has lost
interest in it? If it was a child they might soon decide they
are too old for teddies.
Maybe you could meet and talk
to teddy in your dreams
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Problem 28
Dear Uncle Bearsac
Hello, my name is Flopsy.
Im very scared and alone as my owner left me on holiday. She
didnt mean to as she loves me dearly. What should I do and
how can I return to her? Flopsy O_o
Bearsac's reply to problem
28
Dear Flopsy
I am so sad for you. It reminds
me of when my owner lost my cousin Rizla (who belonged to
her ex boyfriend) in Itlaly. I was distraught.
Could you maybe find the reception
of the hotel your owner was staying at. If you can't speak
or they don't understand you then find the key to the room
and wave it in front of the faces of the reception staff.
I am sure they deal wit a lot of lost teddies.
Like I am sure has had happen
with Rizla I am sure if you are not reunited back with your
owner then instead a new person will love and take care of
you.
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Problem 27
Dear Uncle Bearsac Sir
My daughter is a lovely teddy
bear and is growing up very fast. She has started to ask me
what certain bad words mean. I am not sure if I should tell
her as I am worried that she might use these words and get
herself a bad name and show me up. She has Asperger’s Syndrome
and is socially naive compared to her peers. On the other
hand I wonder if my not knowing telling her will make her
defiant and therefore more likely to use them.
-- Worried Daddy Bear
Bearsac's reply to problem
27
Dear Worried Daddy Bear
No need to call me Sir.
It can be embarrassing when our child teddies behave in ways
we think make it look like we are doing a bad job of bringing
them up and we can often forget their needs in our embarrassment.
I think it important that
we teach our teddy children swear words and slang words in
a positive way. Human children often use words without knowing
the meaning and without thought to the effect using them might
have when they use them in the wrong setting.
In teaching the meaning of
words you also need to explain when it is ‘sort of’ OK to
use them and when not. For example – it is ‘sort of’ OK to
use them in the company of their friends when they are not
around staff at school but it definitely not OK in lessons
or certain places in public and why it is not OK and the possible
consequences.
If your teddy doesn’t know
the meaning of the words they might feel immature compared
to their peers that do know the meanings and they might feel
left out.
They might use the words themselves
in situations where it would be inappropriate. But if it had
been explained to them the consequences of doing so in that
setting, they might have not used the word/s.
It is easier for teddies with
or without Asperger’s Syndrome to make their own decisions
about the way they behave and the things they say if they
have had guidance about what is OK and what is not in different
situations. People with Asperger’s Syndrome, whether human
or teddy bear, often don’t have a natural understanding of
the social rules of various settings so rather than leave
them at risk of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to
the wrong people they need to be well informed rather than
left in the dark and told off when their defiance means they
use bad words at the wrong time and get into bigger trouble.
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Problem 26
Dear Bearsac, I was hoping
for a bit of advice from you ( I am a human). When I go on
my holidays shortly, I am only allowed to take one bear with
me along with Smokey who is my most treasured friend. The
problem is I don't know which bear should accompany me without
being unfair to the others!
Please help,
A troubled human
Bearsac's reply to problem
26
Dear Trouble Human
This is a very tough choice
you have and there willbe more losers than winners. I could
suggest that you get another human friend to hide of of the
contestants and you take the teddy that you find last as a
consulation prize. However, the thing with this one is that
you might not findd the last, or any of the teddy bears in
time for your holiday.
I suggest instead another
way that is an old fashioned method of choosing. Simply give
each teddy a number and put the same numbers a hat and the
teddy with the number you draw out gets to go. The order of
the other teddies comeing out gets to set the order of trips
the remaining teddies gets to go on - even if it takes year,
so make you make a note of the order.
Sorry but I have no ingenious
advise for this one
Havea nice holiday and take
lots of photos of the teddy, whichever it is, on the trip.
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Problem 25
Dear Uncle Bearsac
My owner's mummy and daddy
wants to take us away from our loving owners, Sam 7 and Chris
11 years, as their mummy says they are too old for teddy bears.
She is concerned that will not mature properly and that they
might have their friends will think Sam and Chris are silly
if they come to the house and see us teddies on their beds.
Us teddies and our humans do not want to be parted. What do
we do?
Bearsac's reply to problem
25
We teddies are a comfort and
energiser to our humans arn't we. When they hold us and smell
our fur they discharge their stress and bad energy. They absorb
good energy and calm down; this is good for humans of any
age.
On my daily outing and abouting
I speak to many humans about their current and childhood teddies.
It is evident from these chats that there is much love for
our type from humankind. There have been many human adults
who speak with regret that their parents took away their teddies
because they thought that they were too old or were concerned
what other people would think if they allowed their child
to still keep their teddy bears after society's unspoken get
rid of teddy bear age.
My owner Debra speaks of losing
respect for her parents because they used to throw away a
teddy bear of hers when her room was untidy (not confiscate
it and giving it back at a later date). One day she got home
when her room had been tidy and lots of her teddy bears had
gone. From that day on she lost respect for her parents. She
loves us teddies she has now and has at least 2 that she hid
from her parents' cruel ways that she bought herself as a
teenager.
I should maybe not suggest
you hide away your teddies as it could be seen as deceitful
by sad humans. However, if I will do anyway! But first maybe
Sam and Chris could talk to their parents and explain that
they want to keep their teddies and that they might need support
in growing up both from their parents and their teddies. It
will be a lot easier for them to accept support in growing
up if they have respect for their parents and that means their
parents genuinely deserving that respect. If Sam and Chris
decide themselves one day that they are too old for you then
hopefully their parents will put you away in deep happy hibernation
until the day arrives when Sam and Chris as adults will come
in search of you.
Message to humans -
if your children are attached to their teddy bears it does
not mean that something is wrong, but it could do. Rather
than take away their teddies find out if there are any underlying
issues for which they need comfort or support but don't assume
that there are and scare your children with your anxiousness.
Sometimes, most of the time in fact, we are simply 'Teddy'
and are loved for being so and for no other reason than that.
Adults love teddy bear and sleep with them too; some even
take them on holiday.
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Problem 24
Dear Uncle Bearsac,
To start with---I am not a
teddy bear, but rather, I am a stuffed grey wolf. I do hope
you don't mind, seeing as most of those that come to your
help section are teddy bears. My problem is rather peculiar.
My poor human companion and I are rather confused, you see.
She claims that I'm a male. Indeed, I like to think of myself
as a male. I came with a voicebox, although it has only been
recorded to let me howl and say one other phrase. I also came
with a name that my owner doesn't approve of---Wilhelmina.
In all honesty, I don't like it either. This voice, however,
sounds more masculine than feminine. Why is this a problem?
Well, I came with a tag, too, that indicated that I was a
female. My "given" name is also rather feminine...What is
a wolf to do? Should I change my name and get rid of the tag?
With Frustration,
The Gender Confused Lupine
Bearsac's reply to problem
24
Dear Gender Confused Lupine
(I will use this as you use it yourself and don't like your
given name).
If you think of yourself as
male then that is what you are irrespective of name-tagged
gender, given name or anything else. I understand your concern
with the name; it is rather girly. However, I feel you should
consider different angles to your situation as you might have
them thrown at you and it is easier to be prepared to tackle
this if you understand what 'you' want compared to what 'others'
might want for you.
Should you change your name-tagged
gender and given name to the masculine?
- You might feel more like
'you' if you did.
- You might be 'accepted' better if 'you' change
- You won't be confused as a female with a masculine if you
did
- Some beings might insist you should stay as you are rather
than change because of society's ignorance - that society
should change, not you.
- Some might give it the 'God created you as you are and it
is sinful to change'.
- Some might give it the 'Your maker created you as you are
and it is disrespectful to change'.
- Some might come it with
the 'Is is because society is telling you blah, blah, blah
that you want to change?'
- Some might say 'why are you even bothering to get advice
- just apply to Deed Pole and rip off that tag'. (taking it
off with care not to rip fur would be best with this option).
- You might actually 'be'
female but not conform to society's idea of whay that should
'feel' like.
I am not going to tell you
which you should do or even which I would do. All I will say
is - choose for 'you' and not others. Don't be persuaded by
either the 'You must stay as you are because……' brigade or
the 'You must change because……' brigade.
The choice has to be a selfish
one for 'you'. Being selfish is not always a bad thing especially
in this sense where the choice you make for you is for your
'self' and is not relevant or harmful to others. Humans change
their names by Deed Pole and some change their body for either
cosmetic, medical or gender reassignment reasons and that
is becoming more acceptable - so name and name-tag change
are no big deal really.
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Problem 23
Dear Uncle Bearsac
My name is Edward and I have
a major problem.... My owner is a darling girl...well young
women I should say and she still has so much love for me.
She brought me home seven years ago and still takes me to
bed every night to cuddle up next to her; it's the best feeling
in the world! My problem is that she speaks to me a lot and
I can't seem to answer her back, nothing comes through from
me to say anything to her. It breaks my heart not to say I
love you back to her, she needs me to comfort her and I just
feel no matter how tightly I hug her it may not be enough.
When she is lonely all i want to do is tell her what she means
to me and how happy I am to be her Teddy Bear.
What else can I do to communicate with her? Is there a way
to develop myself to speak? I have a voice I just cant use
it! How do you communicate with your owner? Is there a way
I could do the same? I better go now before she finds me on
this computer! I am not allowed to use it! You are my only
hope Bearsac!
Thank you,
Edward.
Bearsac's Reply to problem
23
I am lucky in that I my owner
just happens to be a teddy bear medium, so I use her to communicate
through. She communicates teddypathically with teddy bears.
Many humans who love their teddies can do the same even if
they have not tried, so I am sure that your human can too.
There are many forms of communication
besides speaking with a voice. You will, of course, realise
that there is sign language for humans. There are also fingerless
variations of sign-language for teddy bears. Without realising
it you are already communicating your love to your human and
she loves you so she knows it.
Edward, you 'are' communicating.
The fact that she speaks to you even though you don't reply
by the same method just shows that she understands your communication.
If you really want to speak
in the audioic way then you should defy her rule that you
are not allowed to use her computer to show this email to
her. Then you can both work at her developing her innate teddypathic
skills.
I could start sprouting about
how the Social Model of Disability says you should not
have to learn communication in the way that is considered
'normal'. However, I feel that that is just as much emotional
pressure on someone than the expectation that they should
communicate orally with spoken words. Instead I will say that
you should do what YOU want from your own internal
influence and not be influenced by the arguments of human
models which are sometimes taken to silly extremes by humans
hiding their denial or social responsibilities.
If you do try a different
form of communication, to the 'genuine' form you are currently
using with her, and you fail; then please, please bear in
mind that you ARE communicating your love to your owner and
she understands.
Her feeling lonely it is not
because she feels unloved by you. Humans often need more than
the company of teddy bears and even if she has lots of humans
for company she is still prone (as a human) to feeling lonely
at times when she is not with a human. This lonliness is no
reflection on her feelings about you.
Carry on communicating your
love in the way us teddy bears best demonstrate it.
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Problem 22
Hello Bearsac
I live with my owner who
loves me dearly, she always talks to me and finds time to
listen to me awell! When she first brought me home it was
the happiest day ever! She cuddled me all the way from Hamleys
in London to wear we live, which is about an hour and a half
away. But every year at Christmas she does the same thing
and there I am waiting for her to come home and she has an
even bigger, plush teddy in her arms. She introduces all of
us to the new Teddy but I am worrying that she might be putting
me in the loft soon!
The room is so crowded with us Teddy Bears. She says she is
an Arctophile which I think is a word for soemone who loved
Teddy Bears. I love her sooo much and I don't want to loose
her to any other new Teddys. I oveheard her also saying that
she might be getting a job in a Teddy shop! What will I do
then? I know she loves me like all the rest of the Teddys
here but I am just scared of loosing her. She is 22 now and
she will never outgrow us so that means she will never stop
buying more Teddys. She hugs me, kisses me, sleeps with me
sometimes, she takes it in turn with the other Teddys. I think
I am just scared, her mum is always telling her off for carrying
me about the house, she calls her a baby which I think really
hurts her feeling because she is a smart and passionate person
and nothing like a baby, she just loves Teddy Bears which
I am so thankyou for!
Can you give me some advice on what to say to her, I love
my mummy, she is my everything. Maybe I just need to stop
panicking too!
Bearsac's reply to problem
22
Dear Fred Fred
I have a similar problem to
this on the problem page but recognise that you are an individual
teddy, so should have your own answer.
Whether you are jealous or
not is really down to how you feel about the other teddies.
If you don’t want them to have affection from you owner (whether
you have it or not) then I would say you are jealous. If you
are not really concerend about them having it but the concern
is really that you feel you are losing out then you might
not be jelaous.
I can understand your concern;
no-one likes to 'feel' neglected of affection. I wonder if
you might not be 'just jealous' but also maybe experiencing
a current feeling of low self esteem. Teddies being bigger
and plusher than you does not make them better.
I think it must be hard for
your owner to divide her time between her teddies, especially
the more she gets. The fact that she kisses you and carries
you around to the extent her mother notices must mean that
she has fond feelings for you. She cannot sleep with you all
the time but I am sure her love for you is still as strong
as it were when she first brought you home from Hamley’s,
just that maybe her expression for it has plateaued, which
is usual.
Maybe you should see the possibility
of her working in a teddy bear shop not as a threat, but as
something good. She can learn more about the diversity of
teddies and love each of you, even more, for the individualiness
this will make clearer.
I think stopping panicking
is some very good self-given advise - Now follow it!
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Problem
21
Dear Bearsac.
My name is
Luna and I am not a teddy bear but of the stuffed cat variety.
My companion is a stuffed human by the name of Sailormoon
however Sailormoon gets to hang from a string above our
owner's bed to watch over and protect him. But our owner
sticks me into a box underneath his bed and it tends to
get rather lonely. It is not because he doesn't love me
but my bottom is a bit oddly shaped and I tend to fall over
when he has me sit on top of his computer monitor and get
lost underneath the bed when I go exploring without him.
I know my owner wants to protect me but is there a way for
me to sit safely with my owner so he doesn't get scared
when i go exploring? And I am not fat! I am jolly, rotund,
and cuddly. Mew ^.^
Bearsac's
reply to problem 21
Dear Luna
I am sorry
to hear of your situation. Not being of the cat variety
myself I would not be qualified to advise you on certain
issues. However, this is a generic issue that can apply
to any species, so I will offer my advice. I feel that this
should be approached from a Social Model of Disability point
of view rather than a Medical Model of Disability one.
Rather than suggest that you have Buttock Augmentation Surgery
(otherwise known as a bum job) so that it fits the shape
of your owner's monitor and looks more like what vets would
consider 'normal' (Medical Model), I think the approach
should be that an adaption is made to your owner's monitor
to take into account the shape of your, no doubt, beautiful
bottom. Maybe a sock filled with rice (raw of course) will
suffice. LOL 'rice' suf'fice' - I'm
a poet and don't even knowit!
If you are
at all concerned about the shape of your bottom from a self-esteem
point of view then please realise that it is a very ignorant
homo-sapien society we stuffies live within and that really
we are superior to the humans (stuffed humans excluded from
this). It is our role to let homo-sapiens feel that they
have the upper-hand; we play ourselves down in order that
they feel a reasonable amount of good self esteem - Don't
ever tell them that though. They are inferior in that they
set petty standards of what is, and is not, 'normal'. Bum
shape and size is somewhat an obsession for humans. Please
do not get brought down to that petty level. Love your botty.
To assist the
problem of your owner worrying about your sudden unintended
disappearances, maybe you could wear one of those things
that bleep when humans whistle. It should be one that you
can turn off though, as sometime we stuffies just don't
want to be found by our owners - I sometimes wish I could
escape the mollycoddling of my one.
I am also a
little worried about your stuffed human companion - Is she
happy with bondage? For both your sakes you should learn
to speak up for yourselves and tell your human, if you don't
like being put in boxes or bound with string all the time,
that you should have freedom.
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Problem 20
Dear Uncle Bearsac
How do I get equal respect?
I have had a problem for years
and I don't know how to go about ridding myself of it.
The dolls in my owners playroom
treat me like I am beneath them. I am older than most of them
but get treated like I am younger, even by the ones half my
age. I am 42.
It is not an anti teddy bear
thing as the other teddies - older and younger than I - get
treated with appropriate respect.
I do not know what to say
or do when I get spoken to in a way that others don't. The
dolls do not do it to other dolls or teddies as they know
it is inappropriate. Surely, if it is inappropriate to talk
to the others like they are younger or beneath them, then
surely it is inappropriate to do so to me.
Is there something I am missing
out?
Am I getting above my station by expecting respect?
Why do these dolls not afford me the same respect as other
teddies and dolls my age?
I have tried asking them, but none have the decency or balls
to be honest with me and some react as if they think I am
being cheeky when I ask them why. What I say to them is 'Why
do you not tell Sebastian Bear or Dorrice what to do. It's
because you think it inappropriate, isn't it? Well, it is
also inappropriate to tell me what to do or ask me to justify
myself.'
Bearsac, is that cheeky of
a 42-year-old adult to say?
Am I getting above my station in standing up against this?
How do I deal with this in a way that I don't get labelled
aggressive when all I am doing is trying to get myself the
treatment I should be equally afforded as others are.
From Deely Bear
Bearsac's reply to problem
20
Dear Deely Bear
You are not getting above
your station in standing up for yourself and asking why you
are treated they way you are.
Maybe there is something about
the way you come across to them makes them feel you have low
social worth that leads them to think it is OK to treat you
like you do. Of course this is not acceptable.
I have had this problem, and like you, no-one had the confidence,
maturity or intelligence to explain what it was about me that
made them think it OK to treat me less favourably than my
peers.
I assume it is because they have insecurities about themselves
and that maybe you reflect that to them somehow; or maybe
because of the way you come across they see you as an easy
target to practice the arthority they wish they had. This
might be because they need to feel superior to someone
because really they feel inferior to others.
I am sorry that I cannot offer
a solution to this problem. I think you are doing the right
thing in asking the dolls why.
Maybe some of the readers
can offer a solution to this by emailing it to me and I can
add it here.
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Problem 19
Dear Uncle Bearsac
Help me, my owner has become
disabled.
My owner had an accident a
couple of weeks ago and was left blind and badly scarred.
Although I feel sorry for him I feel that he will become a
burden for me as he can no longer see when I am dirty and
in need of a wash and when my fluffy fur needs brushing. He
moans about people pushing past him and tutting that he is
in their way. He even moans that people grab his arm and help
him across the road; they are only trying to help a poor blind
person. This moaning and ingratitude gets on my nerves. My
owner says that he is not moaning but that he is just saying
that society is a burden for him as it excludes or patronises
him because of his impairments. He says
that there is something called the Social Model of Disability.
I do not understand how society
can be the burden and when he tries to explain it to me he
uses lots of long words that I don't understand and talks
about social fashion models of disability. Not being able
to understand him makes me worry. What should I do?
Teddy Sunshine
Bearsac's reply to problem
19
Dear Teddy Sunshine
I can understand your worry
to some extent. However, I am concerned by your attitude.
Your owner does not need you
to feel sorry for him, he is not a 'poor blind person' but
he may need your understanding about how he feels. I will
try to explain what your owner might mean when he tries to
explain things to you but uses words you do not understand.
Your owner might be said to
have 'impairments', but what makes your owner 'disabled',
is not the impairments but society's attitude and other barriers.
When your owner talks of the Social Model of Disability this
has nothing to do with fashion models (you have confused what
is meant by model). 'Model' in this context, means 'way of
thinking'.
The Social Model of Disability
is a way of thinking about disability which says that it is
society that makes people disabled because it does not cater
for their differences and access needs in a way that includes
them equally in society. Society makes it uncomfortable for
them as it either feels pity or intolerance towards them.
Services like shops, leisure venues, transport, work places
and other places disable them if they are not accessible.
The Social Model of Disability
says that society should change to include the people it disables
equally, accepting them as they are and not that people with
impairments be 'mended' to fit in with society. It looks at
what disabled people 'can' do rather than what they 'can't'.
OK, so your owner can no longer
see, but this does not mean he cannot cater for your care
needs. By all means express this concern to your owner; but
I'm sure your owner can tell when you are dirty by smelling
you and can tell when your fur needs brushing by feeling it.
He could cater for your needs by having a routine about how
often he brushes and washes you.
Maybe, if your owner is not
embarrassed to do so, he can take you out with him so you
can see the barriers society present him and also see how
well he copes with doing things you maybe think he can no
longer do. You also may soon see that your owner is 'differently
abled'.
for
more on the Social Model of Disability see the social model
section on the Politics page or
click the link below for a Wiki http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_model_of_disability
Adapt to this model before
'you' become a burden to your owner.
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Problem
18
Dear
Uncle Bearsac
I
am a tailed teddy bear. My owner keeps pulling my tail; he
knows it annoys me so, but keeps doing it. I tell him not
to pull my tail each time he does it. How can I get him to
stop.
Bobtail
Bearsac's
reply to problem 18
Dear
Bobtail
I'm
sure your owner thinks he's just being funny and doesn't realise
he is taking it too far. If you just tell him only each time
he does it, then he might not realise how much it annoys you.
Humans tend to need to be told things in a more formal way.
You
could try telling him there is something important to you
that you want to tell him and that you need his attention
and support on the matter. Asking him for a suitable time
to talk about the matter and making it a firm arrangement
at a time that is good for him and suits you. You must be
direct but try not to be too critical of him, else he might
become defensive and not hear the message or he might do it
more as a way to fight what he may assume is you bossing him
around.
If
your telling him in this manner does not work then maybe,
if you don't mind, you could have piercings in your tail of
spikes, that would soon put a stop to him! LOL! Only joking
there.
You
could even try pulling a part of his body each time he pulls
your tail; some parts will annoy him more than him pulling
your tail annoys you!
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Problem
17
Dear
Uncle Bearsac
Me
and my brothers Cyril and Cedric are falling apart but our
other quad is not falling apart although we are made by the
same people. Our owner, Hartley, tries to sew us up but we
still are falling apart. Please help us.
No
name given
Bearsac's
answer to problem 17
My
brother Choc-Ice is also falling apart, and his material is
now so thin he cannot be sewn up. Debra has wrapped him in
bandages and put a close fitting T-shirt on him the same colour
as the fur it covers.
There
is only so much sewing our delicate furs and materials can
take and the loving we receive from our owners can shorten
our life expectancy quite considerably. However, without this
loving we cease to be real. Maybe your owner secretly loves
your intact brother less that you, Cyril and Cedric and hugs
and kisses him less. Have heart for this other brother, I
bet he would love to be in your place.
As
far as helping you, Cyril and Cedric, I'm afraid there is
no help I can give other than the advice of bandages or an
expensive trip to a refurbisher, so sorry but looks like you
will have to pull yourselves together and just grin and bear
it.
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| Problem
16
Dear
Uncle Bearsac
My
girlfriend and I have been going out for four months. I go
to tremendous effort to remember all those little things which
make lady teddies happy like remembering our monthiversary
on the 2nd of each month (when we met) and buying her flowers
and jellly babies. I thought lady teddies liked all that and
wanted their male teddies to remember. She does not seem to
appreciate it and never buys or makes me monthiversary cards.
I measure my comments as best I can, so as to not seem too
full on but at the same time for it to be obvious to her that
she is hurting me and also for her to respect my efforts and
recognise how good I am to her as I have had a bad reputation
in the past which I want to get rid of.
Hubert
Bearsac's
reply to problem 16
Dear
Hubert
You
must realise that not all lady teddies are the same, they
are not all heart n flowers and anniversary obsessed, let
alone monthiverasy!
Just
because she doesn't display the signs you seem to consider
show she cares, doesn't mean she dosen't.
Of
course, it may be that you are not compatiable. Although small,
this difference could be an important factor of whether your
relationship will work out or not. Many relationships end
due to incompatible needs for affection and space than on
anything else.
What
concerns me about you is that you say you want it to be obvious
to her that you are upset and hurt but don't want to tell
her and you want her to see how good you are to her, respect
your efforts and return your feelings and actions. That's
stinks of manipulation to me.
It
would be more mature to discuss the issue, explaining why
these things are important to you. Explain how you feel when
she doesn't return your jestures, don't worry about her thinking
you are coming on too strong. You are still early into a relationship
but not too early for the strong feelings you have for her.
Honesty
clears the false understandings we have in realtionships,
of any length. You might come to see that she doen't understand
the unspoken rules you seem to imagine always exist in relationships.
I am sure that once brought to light that she too, would enjoy
giving and receiving these jestures. Or, you might discover
that she's not interested in the same type of relationship
you are but still wants to be with you.
You
might just find out that the pair of you aren't suited. It
is better to discover this sooner rather than later so you
can each move on, if need be, before you've get in deeper.
I hope that rather than carrying on pretending and manipulating,
you'll give yourselves a chance to find out whether you're
right for each other.
Good
luck .
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Problem
15
Dear
Uncle Bearsac
Like
many of us I'm not as young as I once was.
My
once luscious body of fur is now mimalist even completely
bear in uncompromising areas such as on my chest. I've been
to all the big names in furchology and tried all the products
from 'fur in a can' to 'Dr. Softfur's fur regeneration cream'.
Along with my fur I've lost all my confidence,
I
was once the alpha bear having picnics in all different area
codes but now I'm scared to ask ladies out on picnics. It
making me depressed and quite frankly I'm sick to the stuffing
of it, is there anything you can suggest?
Boob
Bearsac's
reply to problem 15
Dear
Boob
I
have many e-mails of this type and suffer the same consequence
of aging as you do.
You
could have a weave of new fur. This though costs a lot of
honey and is not available on the TBNHS.
There
is good news on the horizon though; like bald human men, bald
is becoming sexy in teddy bears. So fear not, all that is
holding you back is your negative inner voice. Go forth and
bare your bald patches with the pride of an alpha bear.
If you still have problems I hear the saliva from female teddies
works wonders for fur re-growth. However, it is only visible
to other teddies though and not yourself or humans.
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Problem
14
Dear
Uncle Bearsac
I
am 17 years old but look a lot younger than other teddies
around my age. I have been told I look about 12 and get treated
like I am too, even by those that know my age. I hold back
from partying, teddy bear picnics and other social events
with other teddies because I am afraid of other teddies saying
something bad or negative to me. I work at a childrens' home
as a settling in teddy to the new kids. A teddy colleague
the same age as me goes out partying, socialising and loads
of other stuff. When she talks about it she makes me think
about how I don't. This kind of depresses me a bit more every
time she talks about it. I feel I have to hold my colleague
at arms lengh so I don't have to hear about her wonderful
social life but I want to get to know her better and socialise
with her but feel I will just be a burden on her as I look
so young. I would like some advice.
Sadie
Bearsac's
reply to problem 14
Dear
Sadie
Right
now you're finding it rather a pain looking younger than your
age. However, in time to come it'll be a big advantage. All
the same, there are plenty of things you can do about being
considered a teddy of 17.
Firstly,
apparent age isn't determined only by looks but by actions.
I feel because you work caring for so many human children
you may be absorbing their insecurities as teddy bears don't
normally worry about these things like humans do. Human society
are brought up to go by other people's opinions and children
in a home may have even less room to mature as an individual;
I feel you may be picking this up as your own insecurity.
One aspect of maturity is learning to value your own take
on things. So what if somebody makes a negative comment? What
they say isn't holy writ. Nor will their opinion be shared
by the rest of the teddy bear or human races. If teddies or
humans make hurtful remarks it just shows that that they have
an unpleasant side to their character. You don't have to be
nasty back. You could just respond by smiling and saying,
"If you say so" or "And?" or even as the humans say "Whatever".
Then find someone more pleasant to talk to.
Besides, everybody has one or two defects. Why not count up
your good qualities and value them too so you get a more balanced
perspective on yourself?
Another
aspect of maturity is acting directly but ethically - to get
more of what you want. Human and teddy bear kids have everything
handed to them. Grown-ups get it for themselves. You'd like
a social life. Up to now you've been letting your fears stand
in your way. Either you can keep on being a wallflower or
you can set out to learn how to relax and mingle at social
occasions. Not only will it help you practice your social
skills (again, a facet of maturity that we all have to learn),
it'll also give you more fun and more to talk about with others.
Speaking
of your colleague, exactly how does it help you to form a
friendship with her when you push her away? Avoiding her is
wrecking your chances. She's only 17 herself so she's probably
also wondering just what's wrong with her that you keep her
at arm's length. Why not just talk to her? 90% of conversation
isn't award-winning stuff. It's just sharing experiences.
"What did you do last night? Was it fun? Who did you go with?"
Such basic questions show friendly interest. If you start
accepting some of your party invitations (before others give
up and stop asking you) you'll have something more interesting
to reply to her than, "Oh, I stayed in and watched the box
or looked after some kid". You could always ask her to go
with you. Why not give it a shot, it's just a couple of hours
out of your life. Whether or not it goes well, you can treat
it at as a learning curve.
It's
your life. Isn't it time you started taking control of your
actions, thoughts and feelings so that you make it more like
what you want? It's a great adventure!
Good
luck, and have fun!
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Problem
13
Dear
Bearsac
I
have been demoted.
My
owner got a new teddy bear for her birthday three days ago
and I have lost some of the time she used to spend with me
so she can spend time with this new teddy.
I
used to be placed on her bed in the middle. Since this new
teddy has appeared on the scene I have been demoted to one
side of the bed and it's not the side my owner sleeps on;
this new teddy gets that side. I'm placed on the side her
nasty husband sleeps on and I can smell his bad breath on
the pillow.
When
my owner got in from work this evening she said hello to this
new teddy before saying hello to me. Afew days ago I was the
only one she would say hello to as I was the only teddy she
had. I understand that she needs to say hello to each of us
but why this other teddy first? I have been around longer,
surely there should be some sort of order based on that; shouldn't
this other teddy have to earn equality and until then shouldn't
I be top teddy.
This
teddy has beautiful long soft fur where mine is rough and
molting with age. I am envious of this teddy bears fur and
am sure if mine was like this teddy's then I would not have
been demoted. I have suggested to this teddy that his fur
would look better short as he is a boy, but he dismisses my
suggestions to crop it.
From
Prince
Beasac's
reply to Problem 13
Dear
Prince
I
am sorry you have chosen to feel this way; but what I must
point out to you is that it is a choice you have made. We
may not be able to choose the actions of others but we can
choose our reactions to them if we try hard enough.
First
of all you need to realise that this new teddy is new and
needs to be settled into its new home, as I'm sure you were
when first got. Until this new teddy has settled in fully
your owner may continue to say hello to it before you. Hopefully
after some time your owner will say "hello teddies", so addressing
both of you equally. However, I feel you have a problem with
being treated equally to this teddy. You appear to expect
there to be a hierarchy and that you should be at its top.
This is a very bad attitude to have and you need to change
it.
You
say you are envious of this new teddy; but I suggest you are
not. What you are Prince is jealous of this teddy not envious.
You want this teddy to lose rather than you both to win; this
is very unhealthy. I suspect you are using this teddy bears
beautiful long fur as a focus to justify your feelings and
maybe also want to take its power to be loved by peer pressuring
him to crop his fur.
I'm
betting this is not the sort of reply you were hoping for
and you may feel it is a lecture rather than a friendly bit
of advice. But Prince, I have to make you see that the way
you are reacting is the main reason for the pain you feel.
Leave
it a few more days then if you feel your owner is still putting
the other teddy first talk to your owner about it or find
a way to let her know how you feel if you can't talk to her.
I am betting by that time she will be less concerned for this
new teddy as it would have been fully integrated into the
home. Once that time comes, however long it takes, you must
except equality and not hierarchy either way. Remember envy
is healthy as it promps us to achieve, but jealousy is unhealthy
as it destroys and achieves nothing but pain felt mostly by
the individual guilty of it. Also think about how you react
to things and ask yourself what other ways could I react,
how would I want to feel and what can I do or think to feel
like that. You may think reactions are not controllable but
how do you know until you try.
The
best of luck to you.
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Problem
12
Dear
Uncle Bearsac
I am a teddy bear on the run and am scared, cold and lonely.
I was stolen by one of the employees at the teddy bear factory
where I was made. The employee became my owner, even if only
for a weekend, after which he snuck me back into the factory
as he felt guilty for stealing me. This short ownership was
enough for me to become conscious, so I then became aware
of the fact that I was a test teddy and that this meant I
was to undergo CE safety tests which would include having
a flame test and eye pulling tests.
I
realise the importance of these tests but with having become
conscious by my temporary ownership, I was scared of the pain
and possible death that might have resulted in the tests if
I have been not made in a safe way.
When
the fire alarm was falsely set off in the factory I took to
chance at the open fire escape to run away and have been on
the run ever since. Please could you help find me a loving
owner and home. I have had difficulty finding an owner as
every time I am found the person finding me puts me in a safe
visible place nearby where they found me as they hope the
child they assume owns me will find me.
From
Test teddy
Bearsac's
reply to problem 12
Dear
Test teddy
I
am sorry to hear about your having to go on the run and your
troubles to find a suitable owner and home.
I
have contacted the Teddy Bear Adoption Agency and they are
happy to look after you and find you a suitable home and owner.
They are very loving and vet the prospective owners before
letting a teddy bear out to adoption. I am emailing you the
address but if you cannot get there yourself they, or myself,
can arrange to get you there, so keep in touch.
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Problem
11
Dear
Uncle Bearsac
Please
tell me, am I still a teddy bear?
I
am now without ears. My owner was told that he was too old
to keep me anymore and his father chucked me out like a piece
of rubbish. My owner came to rescue me from the dustbin but
then had a partial change of heart. He suddently decided that
maybe it was about time he put aside childish things, but
could not fully do so. So what he did was cut off my ears
as a keepsake that he could hide easily from his father, as
I am too big to hide in full.
I
have since been rescued from the bin by the dustbin men and
I live on the front grill of the truck tied on with green
string. That doesn't bother me so as I get to go loadsa places
and I have gotten used to the smell, dirt and fumes.
What
bothers me Bearsac is whether I am still a teddy bear without
my teddy bear ears, the defining feature of a teddy bear from
any other cuddly toy.
Well
Uncle Bearsac, it's over to you.
From
JoJo
Bearsac's
reply to problem 11
Dear
JoJo
I
had a conversation along these lines with my owner a few days
ago when she told me off for suggesting a young woman cuts
down her toy rabbits ears and rounds them off to be like a
teddy bears so the rabbit would be a teddy bear.
My
owner (Debra) made me see that a rabbit cannot be a teddy
bear by resizing and reshaping its ears; it will never be
anything else other than a rabbit and that to be a rabbit
is something to be proud of. She also made me see that a teddy
bear has equal right to be proud of it's being a teddy bear
and that neither are of higher value than the other or of
any other cuddly toy.
By
the same measure that a rabbit will only ever be and will
always be a rabbit - whatever the state of it's ears or any
other part of its body - a teddy bear will only ever be and
will always be a teddy bear whatever part of it's body, ears
included, it loses.
I
can imagine that somewhere along the line cuddly toys and
people will offer you advice, solicited or not, on whether
to get new teddy bear ears. Some will say you need to be mended
to become a teddy bear again and others will argue and maybe
even agressivly insist that you must not give in to that negative
model of thinking and that you should remain without ears
to serve as a shining example of how society needs to change
its attitude to include everyone equally.
However, what matters JoJo, is what you yourself want
for you. You must be happy being you however you choose
to be. But at the end of the day JoJo, one thing you will
always be is a teddy bear and hopefully always a proud teddy
bear that sees every other cuddly toy as an equal.
Good
luck JoJo.
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Problem
10
Dear
Uncle Bearsac
I
am in deep distress and am a nervous wreck.
I live on the windowsill of my owner's bedroom, overlooking
next doors yard. There are two very large scary dogs that
have just moved next door and they live in the yard. The dogs
bark at me with slime falling from their huge mouths. Their
owners don't tend to them as they should and they are out
there all weathers. I like it on the windowsill as I can watch
the birds building nests and talk to them. How can I get the
dogs to stop this incessant barking?
Midge
Bearsac
reply to problem 10
Dear
Midge
You
need to send a big ball of pink and blue energy - the energy
of love and healing rolling through their yard. This should
settle them down. You may even hear an answer from the dogs,
telling you what is upsetting them, sometimes it's a warning
of a storm coming - other times it is because of something
that has happened around them and the dogs are spooked.
Try telepathically calling the owners to attend to their dogs
by visualising someone opening the door for them.
Sometimes we pick up our humans stresses or feel stress ourselves
and at theses times we are more sensitive to sounds we would
not otherwise consider stressful. So, what I am saying here
is that you are reacting to the sounds because of some other
stresses. I feel the dogs are signaling you to the fact that
you are about at max with the stress and need to do something
to diffuse it... There may be some anger in you that the dogs
are trying to get you to notice, so go figure it out and deal
with it straight up. Once you resolve the inner issues you
will find you are not so distressed by the dogs if they do
bark all the time.
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Problem
9
Dear
Bearsac
I'm
an 11-year-old teddy with an annoying 5-year-old human owner.
I used to belong to his big sister who is lovely. I just can't
get him out of my fur; he pulls my nose about and carries
me around by the ear. How much annoyance do I have to endure
from this little brat until he grows up? I am running out
of patience and want to pull his ears and nose but have no
fingers.
Benji
Bear
Bearsac's
reply to problem 9
Dear
Benji Bear
I'm
afraid the truth is quite a lot longer than you have already.
As you are older than him you have to be role model for him
- like it or not. He will learn a lot from you. So ask yourself:
what would I want him to learn from me? I'll bet it's
not impatience and unkindness?
You could try telling his older sister, she may well take
care of you for a while, this might make him jealous, then
I'm sure he would be nice to you if you promise to come back
to him if he is nice to you.
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Problem
8
Dear
Bearsac
I
am not a teddy bear, I am a human.
I
have a teddy bear which I got recently from a car boot sale.
The teddy reminded me of Woolly, my dear teddy that I had
as a child but lost on safari whilst travelling with my mum
and dad one holiday.
This
new teddy, named Woolly The 2nd, is really getting me down.
He remembers his previous life and is always talking about
how well his previous owner looked after him and how she took
him everywhere and what a great person she was as she helped
so my people. I feel I come second to Woolly's previous owner
and feel I am living in her saintly shadow. I have spoken
to my human friends about this but they just don't understand.
Can you advise me Bearsac.
A
Human
Bearsac's
answer to problem 8
Dear
A Human
It
is not nice to feel second to another is it. Have you told
Woolly how you feel? I am betting Woolly would maybe share
these feelings with you, after all who wants to be called
something the 2nd?
Your
new teddy needs it's own name and it's own identify in this
life and not to be the incarnation of your old teddy. Teddy
bears only remember their previous lives if they have a message
to give to their new owners. Give your new teddy time to see
you as you. It is hard for teddies when they do not have closedown
of their previous consciences and carry it on into a next
life. I think for both your sakes you should find another
name for your car boot teddy, one that shows you see his /
her own identity. I'm sure when this teddy has it's own name
either all memory will vanish of its previous owner, or it
will be able to keep the memories as a silent pleasant distant
past but be equally happy in its current life with you and
will see you for the person you are and the qualities you
possess.
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Problem
7
Dear
Uncle Bearsac
I
have a big problem. My owner is really lovely and always treats
me with love and affection but she sucks her thumb a lot and
rubs my fur at the same time.
As you can imagine, my fur is slowly disappearing and my ears
are very frayed. However, I don't want to offend my owner
because she has always looked after me and takes me on all
her holidays and I know she only does it to show me her love.
How can I tell her I love her but want to hold on to my fur
Please help
Mr
Ted
Bearsac's
reply to problem 7
Dear
Mr Ted
I
know exactly how you feel, my owner kisses my ear all the
time and it is withering away. This is a hard one to advise
on, we know the sensitivity of our human companions and it's
very hard to say things that need to be said without them
feeling like they have had the guts knocked out of them.
Sometimes actions speak louder than words so it might be worth
'doing' rather than 'saying' something. Maybe you could get
your local teddy vet write a vet's note to you saying you
have a molting condition that is caused by a chemical reaction
of human sweat and saliva when the fur is overrubbed. If you
asked your owner to read the note to you as you can't read
the doctors writing I'm she/he would get the hint. You could
try being secretive about the note and then leave it around,
I'm quite sure your owner will have a good nose at it.
A furry scarf (or at least a cool silk one with fur at the
ends) could be worn around your neck or on the most rubbed
part of your body so that your owner can rub that instead.
If this fails then you could try honesty, the shock of what
they are doing to your fur may not have even registered with
them and their awareness of your issue may stop them rubbing
you up the wrong way! You did not say the age of your owner,
of course if they are too young to understand you may just
have to wear soft furry clothes from head to toe and sweat
it out.
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Problem
6
Dear
Bearsac
I’m
in despair as my owner won’t accept that he can hear me speak.
I know he can hear me as his ears prick up and he turns up
the telly. A friend of his mentioned that she heard me speak
but he just told her she must be imagining it as teddy bears
don’t speak. I yelled out that we do, and he yelled back you
don‘t! When he realised he had replied to me he then insisted
it was his friend that yelled out and not me.
He
also insists that you are not real Bearsac; yet he spends
so many hours on your website and sends you insulting emails!
How can I get him to admit to himself I can speak?
From
a teddy bear that belongs to a twatt
Bearsacs
Reply to problem 6
Dear
teddy bear that belongs to a twatt
I
get so many emails about this sort of thing so I hope in answering
your problem I also give answer to other teddies too.
Your
owner does realise you are real and he knows he can hear you.
But try looking at it from the human perspective.
Humans - in their uncertainty about themselves - feel the
need to fit into how they think society thinks they should
behave to be considered "normal"; this means they pretend
and deny things about themselves - both to other people and
to themselves. Some do not have the strength of character
to live their lives by their own beliefs if they consider
that they might be marked out as odd to other people. I think
your owner feels that admitting you speak will make other
people think there is something wrong with him.
I feel that he is dependent on the opinion of other people
to feel adequate about himself.
You
could try some direct action; turn over his telly when his
team is about to score on Match of the Day, this will get
his attention; then refuse to give him back the remote control
until he asks you for it. If this does not work then I think
you may have to just grin and bear it!
As
for his sending me offensive emails, I’m flattered that he
is spending so much time obsessing over me!
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Problem
5
Dear
Uncle Bearsac
Please
help me. My owner has acquired the knowledge I'm worth money
and wants to sell me, I thought he loved me, but it seems
he only sees me through his pound-sign-eyes these days. There
I was sitting on his lap in front of the telly, all comfy
like, watching one of those antique programs - you know, the
one with the overtanned man - next thing he was jumping up
and down squealing in delight and was on the phone to an antique
dealer friend of his.
Apparently,
the button in my ear and my age, nearly 100, makes me worth
loads of lolly. I'm in good nick seeing as I've had 3 previous
owners, all who loved me and could not bear to be parted from
me. My current owner's mum, granddad and great granma - who
owned me before - are dead now, so they cannot save me. I
don't want to leave my friends and I would miss my owner even
though I see now, he doesn't love me.
What
can I do?
Sebastian
Bearsacs
answer to Problem 5
Dear
Sebastian
This
is awful, us teddies are not commodities, why can't the humans
see this.
All I can think of is to devalue yourself. Take the button
out of you ear and get rid of it, that should wake your owner
up.
If
however you do get sold, then it really may not be such a
bad thing. You will make new friends, and you may have an
owner who will love you for yourself, plus there are better
things to do in life than watch sad antique programs hosted
by crusty old prunes!
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Problem
4
My
owner dresses me in frilly doll dresses, and even calls them
"frocks". I am then paraded, in my new attire, to the rest
of her teddies and her best friends' hoard of gossiping bears.
Pink silk with periwinkles and white lace is not my glass
of jelly baby milkshake thank you very much Madam-no-taste.
With this offending attire she adorns my left ear with yellow
bow with green spots. I want to wear combats and crop tops
with messages for the attention boy teddy bears on it. My
owner doesn't hear my rather feeble voice and I doubt she
would respect my choice of fashion as she is what the humans
call a "Slone Ranger" and wears silk covered Alice bands and
green wellies.
What
am I to do Bearsac?
Fluffy-Wuffy-Anna
(please don't laugh at my name)
Bearsacs
reply to problem 4
Dear
Fluffy-Wuffy-Anna
Rip
up your slone rangers wardrobe, go on rip it up, be a bear
devil, it's good for you. Protest to your Slone Ranger, you
can do it, even slones get the message after a while. It may
be hard to get her to accept your taste and to accept that
you are a bear with her own mind and no longer in need of
her, but this is for her good as much as it is for you.
I
will get onto the fashion editor in "Slone Bimonthly" magazine
and try to convince her to dress the teddy bears used as props
in clothes of your choosing and you could spend a day at the
studios and maybe even model yourself! How about it?
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Problem
3
Dear
Uncle Bearsac
Help,
I'm going bald, what can I do?
I
was blessed with beautiful long golden mohair, the envy of
many a teddy. But I have noticed, for some time now, that
it is thinning. I have tried denial, it worked for a while,
but last week my owner had me valued by a horrid grotty little
man with sweaty hands and bad breath and I overheard him mumble
that the large bald patch on the bear's back has decreased
it's value. I'm in denial no more but I'm losing fur fast
with the worry. How can I hold my head up in the company of
the bears that envy me? I don't want to be a bald victim of
ridicule, whispers behind my back as though I have brought
shame on the teddy bear race. It's not so bad for the plain
teddies; they have nothing to lose by going bald. I will have
lost it all, the respect, the admiration the attention of
girl teddies, why me?
Signed
Bearnard
Bearsacs
reply to problem 3
Dear
Balding Bearnard
I'm
sorry to hear you're losing your fur, honest. This is a worrying
event for us all, I know from experience. But hang on a minuet,
what's this you say about it not being so bad for plain teddies?
How bear you! I'd say your attitude is more unbearable to
the teddy bear race than having to bear your bald patches.
I have lots of letters from teddies that consider themselves
plain or ugly, that believe that one-day; they will have fur
as beautiful as yours must be. But then their bubbles are
burst as they start to loose the fur they believe plain and
totally are distraught to see it not be replaced by beautiful
fur, but by baldness. They have lost more, their fur and their
hopes. So Balding Bearnard, never say plain bears have nothing
to lose.
In
answer to your question "What should I do?" Have you tried
pulling long bits of fur over the bald patches and gelling
them down? That's what the humans do!
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Problem
2
Dear
Uncle Bearsac
In
order to get this story to you I had to ask a carrier pigeon
to deliver it to you. In exchange of favor I am baby-sitting
her eggs, I just hope they don't hatch under me and the chicks
then think I'm their mummy!
My
owner out-grew me many years ago, and I was banished from
the bedroom to the loft. The loft hatchdoor is locked from
the other side and I am alone and scared and have been here
for 34 years. I would like to think my owner will one day
think of his once beloved teddy and come in search of me in
this dark dingy dust hellhole, but I fear I will forever be
trapped and will soon be but dust myself.
Loft
Bear
Bearsac's
reply to problem 2
Dear
Loft Bear
The
problem you suffer is a very wide spread problem, and the
committee of my teddy bear self-advocacy group are planning
a campaign called "Free The Teddies". We plan to get the message
across to owners that have their teddies put away in unsuitable
surroundings, to give them their freedom.
If
you have any ideas, please, we would love to hear them, your
carrier pigeon could of course bring them to me. Couldn't
you get the carrier pigeon to take a message to your owner
to alert them to your consciousness? The owner may think it's
a prank by a mate, but at least it will jog their memory and
they might come get you.
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Problem
1
Dear
Uncle Bearsac
I
feel left out and different to the other teddies in my owner's
bedroom. The thing is, is that they all have labels and I
don't. There is a beautiful posh girl teddy bear that has
just moved in next door. She can't help being posh; she's
a Steiff bear. Being a posh bear, I think she might be a snob
and not want to know me because I don't have a label. She
has invited all us teddies as a group, to her party. How can
I go when I might be the only teddy there without a label,
and how can I get her to notice me?
Signed
Labeless Bear
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Bearsac's
reply to problem 1
Dear
Labeless Bear
First
of all, you are who you are and a label does not maketh the
bear. Secondly, just because the bear of your heart is a posh
bear, it does not mean she will be a snob. You seem to be
jumping to a lot of conclusions here. I have met a lot of
teddies with this problem. The thing is it is not a problem;
that is just the way we choose to see it. Let me tell you
my experience.
I
don't have a label either. I used to have the same fears as
you and it dented my confidence so much that I sew a label
on to myself. I thought it would gain me friends and influence
bears. However, all it did was make me look more the uncool
fool I assumed the label bears thought I was. There was this
girl bear I liked; she was very popular. Her popularity though,
was not down to her ornate label (it had gold stitching),
but because of her kindness and confidence.
One
day she saw that I was sad and we talked. She told me it was
not the fact that I didn't have a label that she didn't think
me cool. She said it was the fact that I always looked so
grumpy and that I seemed to expect to be asked to join in
everything rather than just join in anyway like the other
teddies. "They don't get personal invitations either," she
said.
She
said none of us teddies has even noticed that we have labels
and you don't. She went on to say that she couldn't understand
what I was so worried about. "Humans worry about things like
that, but not teddies, which are more sensible and carefree,"
she said.
I
never thought about it until she explained it to me, but I
was carrying around human's problems in my aura (energy field
that surrounds the body). When humans tell us their problems,
we can sometimes get their problems stuck in our aura and
start having the problems or feelings ourselves.
I
was shown how to do Teddy Bear Yoga and meditation. It cleansed
my aura and the feeling of low self-esteem disappeared. It's
not that easy for humans though, they go to these nutty people
called psychiatrists and psychotherapists and give them lots
of money just to have these people project their own problems
onto them.
So
Labeless Bear, my closing bit of advice to you is, go get
your aura cleansed and enjoy the party.
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To
email a reply or problem yourself email me at
bearsac@bearsac.com
and say which problem it is for.
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